Contrary to what the Wall Street Journal and countless sitcoms seem to think, there are plenty of women who want sex more than their male partners. To put the only stereotype of the frigid female to rest -- and to shed light on the dissatisfaction a lot of women feel in their sexual relationships -- we put out a call for stories from women who had been physically involved with a partner who didn't share their sex drive. The emails poured in. From age 25 to 65, single, in relationships and married, women wrote to us about how they have struggled -- or are still struggling -- with the fact that they want sex more than their partners, often much, much more. We present their stories below not to blame men or women for these issues, but to showcase that sexual frequency is an issue for partners regardless of gender, age or marital status.
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For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera a pseudonym , a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
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My new boyfriend—let's call him John—and I were walking hand-in-hand from our hotel room at Hedonism II, the infamous clothing-optional, adults-only resort in Negril, Jamaica, to our first Tantric sex class. I whispered to him, "So, listen. Everyone's focused on their own partner. No one will be looking at you," I tried to assure him. For one, I'm not that comfortable walking around naked.
If your sex life has felt stale lately, you can spice things up by building anticipation for sex in both your daily life and during foreplay. Additionally, be more spontaneous with your lover so your relationship feels more exciting. You might also be more adventurous with sex.